Do You Attack, Or Offer Kindness To Yourself?

Shpat.

Shpat.

Shpat.

"What it the world...?" I wondered, as I got up to go see what was banging into our dining room window. 

Outside of this window my wife has a beautiful butterfly garden that attracts hummingbirds and butterflies all summer. But it's not summer right now, and most of those plants are just coming out of their winter dormancy. 

Shpat!

I look out the window to see a blue bird sitting on the shepherds hook that holds a bird feeder, freshly filled. He is a pretty magnificent little bird. Deep blue feathers and a bright fire-orange belly. 

Then, without warning, he jumped off of his perch and flew straight at the window with a...

Shpat!

It took me a few seconds to figure out what was going on. This territorial alpha male blue bird saw another blue bird and was challenging him to a fight. Except the other bird was himself, reflected in our dining room window.

I watched as that bird kept attacking him, matching him move for move. He kept reaching a stalemate with every strike. There could be no winner. 

It got me thinking. How often am I attacking the man in the mirror? I have a history of beating myself up a bit, finding critiques, running over situations in my head, thinking of how things could have been different if only I had...

Or sometimes it's just straight judgement. I'll literally be looking in the mirror, thinking about how I miss seeing my abs, and how I need to stop over-eating and workout more to look better, or judge myself for not being able to keep that discipline for long.

I can walk around our house and see the tiny details of my repair work done with small mistakes and fixes and run into the window of "you should have taken your time and done that better" kind-of-thoughts. 

Do you do this too? 

The enemy whispers, in my own voice, "I'm so stupid. I'm so lazy. I'm so ________." And I often agree with him. 

I wonder what it would be like to, instead of charging the man in the mirror, bless him instead. To give him some slack, some grace. To agree with Jesus.

We know he doesn't condemn us anymore. A good father doesn't beat his child when the child makes a small mistake, or finds himself wishing he would have done something differently. A good father gets down on his knee (or better yet, takes off running to him!) and gives his son a hug, comforts him, and offers him his own strength and encouragement. 

"So he got up and went to his father. But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him." ~ Luke 15:20 NIV

A few years ago we had a similar problem. A bright red cardinal kept attaching its own reflection in our glass sliding door. Eventually, I got the idea of putting a photo of a cat pouncing in the window.

Wouldn't you know it, the cardinal no longer saw his reflection as a threat to attack, but instead saw the cat attacking the bird in the mirror and stopped trying to fight against himself. 

Now there's an analogy. What if we saw ourselves as image-bearers under attack, rather than agreeing with that enemy against ourselves.

What if we met the words, "I'm such a bad _____." with, "Time-out. I'm doing the best I can. I care. I am trying. And I can bless that and disagree with evil right now. I can instead be generous towards myself."

We in Restoration Project call this awareness and kindness. 

In what ways do you find yourself coming against yourself? What does the enemy like to whisper in your ear? 

What might it look like to see yourself as one under attack, and, instead of judgement, offer compassion and generosity towards yourself?

__________________________

Cody Buriff, Director of Resource Initiatives